What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
