dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
