I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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