You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize