Barsexuality is the new black.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She bit a glass in half.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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