I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
