someone threw a dead crab at me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
