Dual....:-)
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize