DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
