as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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