I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
