no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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