There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize