SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize