so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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