Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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