weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize