oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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