Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
