Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
