I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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