whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
