My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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