i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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