Umm I'm too high to move.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
