Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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