i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
