awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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