You really coming over, don't trick.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
