Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
