I think scott just propositioned me for sex
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Less talking, more tequila
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
