But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
