ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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