its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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