he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
