you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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