i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
