It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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