Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
