so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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