it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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