Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
