I think i peed on brittanys purse
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
