im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
