Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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