chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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