i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize