She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
