They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize