no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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