I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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