A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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