Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
