it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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