I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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