Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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