Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
