I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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