Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
