went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
